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Albert Pujols and a Fanbase in Fear…

It seems Cardinals Nation is “a Twitter” with rabid and frantic pleas to sign Albert Pujols as soon as – and “as long as” – possible. I won’t bother trying to catch you up on all the details (but visit the sites/links at the end of this post for all you can stomach), but it essentially comes down to this:  If Albert is not convinced the Cardinals front office/ownership is committed to winning as much as he is…he walks. At least, that seems to be the general consensus.

I agree.

So…this post is, quite simply, a list of the things I will burn in my schizophrenic rage when/if the news breaks that Albert Pujols has joined the ranks of another squad. Enjoy:

1. My “Lucky” Cardinals T-Shirt
I bought this raggedy shirt from Busch II “back in the day.” Somehow – don’t ask me how – I found myself at Busch Stadium without a traditional red shirt to wear before a game. So, I sauntered into the Team Store, found a simple yet sharp Cardinals shirt on the center rack, checked the price tag…and promptly bought the first shirt on the clearance rack that fit me instead. It was $16. The one I put back was $50…for a t-shirt, people. Anywho…it’s faded red with the single, solitary Cardinal sitting on a yellow bat smack-dab in the center. I like it…but it will burn.

2. My Scott Rolen Jersey
I have a confession to make. It’s my fault Scott Rolen left. No, really…it is. You see, I never buy team jerseys. They are WAY too expensive – especially when the player leaves within a season or two of your purchase and you have to do it all over again. I flat-out refuse to drop $175 on a shirt. No way. But one day, I got “lucky.” While wandering through Wal-Mart before class, I found a clearance rack of cheaply-designed Cardinals jerseys. They were solid red button-ups with a white “Cardinals” printed across the front and a blue stripe down each side. Pujols, Carpenter, and Rolen were left…at $15 each. I promptly grabbed Rolen’s (I’m not really a “pitcher” person…and everyone has Pujols, right?) and walked proudly out of the store (after paying of course). I wore it for 3 months before he was traded. Be thankful I did not buy Pujols’ jersey. Nevertheless, I like my Scott Rolen jersey. But it willburn. NOTE: I’m pretty sure I did the same thing to Steve Bono of the Chiefs “back in the day”…but don’t tell him.

3. My Colby Rasmus Bobblehead
One of the best things about having a minor league team within driving distance is the freebies. My wife and I are constantly checking the promotion nights at the Springfield Cardinals stadium (Hammond’s Field) and buying tickets accordingly. T-Shirt night? We’re there. Bobblehead night? Gotta’ have it. I mean, it’s a smorgasbord of free Cardinals merchandise! You don’t pass that up, man. Well…one night last season the team gave away Colby Rasmus bobbleheads. I told my wife, “I gotta’ have it!” So, we made the drive, got there early, stood in line…and got me my bobblehead! It was a great night. And I love my bobblehead. But it will burn.

4. All of My Beloved “Freebies” from the Springfield Cardinals
In one night – and one night only – my wife and I walked away from Hammond’s Field with a bobblehead, four Cardinals t-shirts (including 2 blue 1982 jersey replica t-shirts), two hats, and some kind of bracelet/ruler thingy we got for doing the milk-shake chuggin’ contest on top of the dugout in the first inning (I won, of course…whupped my trash-talkin’ wife’s butt!). All of it…and all of the other freebies I’ve collected…will burn.

There’s more that will burn, of course…I’ve been a Cardinals fan for quite a while and have plenty to choose from…but that’s all I’ll reveal for now. I will, however, tell you about a few items I will NOT be burning:  My Ozzie Smith autographed ball, Ozzie’s Topps rookie card, my Adam Wainwright autographed ball, and my full set of the 2006 World Series Championship DVDs. I’ll keep all of that stuff…because it is a reminder of when I loved and respected the St. Louis Cardinals.

But the other stuff…it will burn.

If Albert Pujols is not a Cardinal in 2012…I may stop watching baseball all together. In fact…I will. Honestly, how could it be any different? If this team does not do everything in their power to re-sign the game’s best player…especially one so beloved by the St. Louis fanbase…how could I – nay, ALL of us! – how could we NOT revolt against the man that orchestrated the downfall of the greatest baseball franchise on Earth…Mr. Bill DeWitt-Idiot?!?!

Okay…that’s enough. Hopefully the rain will hold off enough to get this game in tonight…and we’ll see if the team does ANYTHING to quell the fear running through Cardinals Nation over the next few weeks. In the meantime, here’s those links I promised you.


A great piece by Will Leitch of deadspin.com:

St. Louis Post-Dispatch writers weigh-in:

Brian Burwell’s usual “you’re not helping at all, Brian” approach:

And finally…the man who seems to have started it all…the internet “mad-bomber-what-bombs-at-midnight” when it comes to St. Louis Cardinals outrage…Mr. Bernie Miklasz’s plea to Cardinals’ ownership:


One thought on “Albert Pujols and a Fanbase in Fear…

  1. lol one or two of the observations most people distribute crack me up, routinely i wonder whether they even read the subject material and items before leaving your 2 cents or if perhaps they simply skim the subject of the post and jot down the very first thought that one thinks of. nevertheless, it’s good to read through clever commentary occasionally instead of the very same, traditional post vomit that i often discover on the net i’m off to enjoy a smattering of rounds of facebook poker adios

    Posted by chips zynga | March 20, 2010, 12:26 am

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